when people say christmas isn’t just about presents
(via moriar-teacup)@4 hours ago with 124606 notes
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
you’ve got to be kidding me
I am in physical pain
(via andiwalkalone)@16 hours ago with 383053 notes
@4 hours ago with 36656 notes
Women and men should both know how to cook because neither feminism nor sexism are going to do shit for you when you’re hungry.
well yes of course i want my otp to be happy
but first let me see one of them choking back tears at a hospital bedside while the other lies in a coma (◉‿◉✿)
(via mishasminions)@4 hours ago with 50133 notes
when the game is like “u don’t have enough lock picks for this” and ur like i have a rocket launcher
(via equestrianfangirlswag)@16 hours ago with 27185 notes
@16 hours ago with 227208 notes
at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it
when i first read this i thought to myself, what school teaches american as a subject?